It's Saturday and I'm thinking. I'm only thinking in small blocks in between the telephone calls from Trevor who has gone shopping in Tesco.
This is a weekly occurrence as are the phone calls
Trevor....Cathedral city cheese is only the extra strong on special this week
Me.....we don't need cheese
Trevor......or the light option, we don't like that do we?
Me.....we have enough cheese, maybe next week they will have an offer on a different one
Trevor.....I won't get cheese this week then.
Where was I? Oh yes thinking.
It's hard when you have a long term health condition to find a level that keeps you sane, some days you can do something that other days you can't do. Try explaining that to people who think that because you were capable of going out to dinner last week there is no reason why you shouldn't go out to dinner this week.
Trevor.....do we want crisps this week?
Me.....we haven't got any
Trevor......I know but do we want any
I'm very lucky in that I have a good close family and friends but even then they do not always understand how frustrating it can be not to be able to function fully, it's hard to have to limit what I do with my grandchildren and I often wonder what they must think of me when I can't always play with them, chase them around etc, I wrote them this poem a few months back....
Trevor.....cakes this week?
Me.....well we haven't got any
Trevor......the lemon or the strawberry ones?
Right, the poem...
I can't hold you with these hands
But I hold you in my heart,
I can't run with you through the snow
But we run together through my dreams,
I can't lift you up high above me
But I can still lift your spirits,
I can't join in your rowdy games
But I can recite rowdy rhymes,
I can't stay up late with you
But I can lie down beside you,
I can't make you sandcastles
But I can make you laugh,
I can't walk you to school
But I can be waiting when you get home,
Whatever you can not have with me
You will always have my love.
Trevor.....I'm getting cereal this week
Me....good idea, I'll have special K
Trevor......they haven't got special K bliss
Me....get another one then
Trevor (sharp intake of breath) it's £4
Me.....leave it then
I often get asked how I keep my sense of humour, that's easy to answer, who would I be without it? It helps to be able to laugh at life sometimes, to snigger at your body when it refuses to hold a cup or to giggle at people's faces when they look at me hanging onto my elderly mother as we shuffle through the town.
In all seriousness I read other peoples tweets/blogs etc and see the dreadful things they are putting up with and I consider myself lucky.
Trevor......do we need cat food?
Me....not this week
Trevor.....they are still on special, oh not his one, oh yes they are his but they haven't got any, ah yes they have.....but I won't get any this week.
Where was I again?
Ah yes, it is true that there is always someone worse off than you are and whilst that is not always a comfort when the pain is horrendous or you are reminded again by your body that it's falling apart it is worth remembering and when I see how some people cope with their illness/disability I am truly humbled.
And the greatest thing of all? It's to know you are loved, having family who care about you, friends who check to make sure you are ok, grandchildren who smile when they see you and a cat and a dog that adore you, these are the things that keep me smiling, keep me fighting and keep me living.
And you are so right, there is no purpose to this blog at all......good innit?
Trevor's home, shopping to put away......
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