I didn't feel I had an awful lot to write about recently, but life doesn't stand still does it?
So what have I been up to?
My health continues to deteriorate at a speed that is worrying, New symptoms are appearing and having to be coped with in my own way.
My way of coping is
1) can I do anything about it?
2) can my GP do anything about it?
3) can I ignore it?
The answer to 1 and 2 seem to be no most of the time, I thought the answer to 3 was a yes until recently, I have realised my body will just stop if I continue to ignore what's happening, it's a little like hitting a brick wall, you're walking along quite happily and then BANG......
I can't climb over the wall, I certainly can't tunnel under it, all I can do is lay down for an hour or so and hope that a few of the bricks loosen enough for me to push through, so far that appears to be working!
I feel like I've been through another period of acceptance where this disease is concerned, as much as you try not to and convince yourself that you would just cope of course we all live in hope that something will be found or come along that will make the condition easier or maybe even stop it in its tracks but a few weeks ago I had to accept that that just wasn't going to happen for me.
I had to make the decision on the advice of my consultant that the drug that was my last chance of slowing this disease down was not going to be suitable for me.
After months of two consultants and my GP saying I couldn't have this drug and a third consultant saying I could have it we weighed up the pros and cons and came to the decision that the risk really wasn't worth it.
How do you cope when it looks like your ( last chance ) has gone?
I used brackets as I am a firm believer in never say never.
Well if you're like me you go for a time to lick your wounds, come to terms with it, scream at the world a little and then you get on with it.
And so that's where I am healthwise ...............getting on with it.
Of course the world and life goes on doesn't it?
And so it is here, family come round, friends call in, Time passes and life goes on.
If anything far from slowing down recently life has picked up a pace, in the past couple of months we have celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary and Saturday just gone was my mums 80th birthday!
This we celebrated by having family at our house and a 'small' birthday tea.
I use the word 'small' advisedly as with our family now we numbered 40 on Saturday.
thankfully the weather was kind to us and we were able to open the doors and use the garden as well as the house much to hubby's joy as he led small groups around his beloved plot showing them what he has achieved in the time we have been here.
He has every right to be proud the garden is looking lovely as spring is encouraging plants to push their way through.
His only bugbear was the usage of the small summerhouse (bus shelter for those of you who remember him building it) at the end of the garden, his end it has to be said.
He lovingly prepared it ready for Saturday's party, shelving it with high shelves that he said were to put drinks on out of the reach of children, children were not meant to be down near the summer house it was for smokers to congregate and stand and have drinks and 'man' chats.
I however felt it was ideal to put the children's toy box in and allow the children to play down that end of the garden, even putting a picnic bench down there and allowing them to have their own Food & Drink's on that.
Hubby fought long and hard for the right to use his summer house in the way he felt appropriate, I on the other hand was very diplomatic and decided to take a vote!
The afternoon was a success, everybody enjoyed themselves and mum had a super 80th birthday.
So that is where I am at the moment, plodding on as usual, trying to keep out of mischief and just taking each day as it comes.