I started this governments term with denial ' no human beings can be that cruel' and I waited to see if the scaremongering I was reading almost daily on the social sites turned out to be just that, exaggeration, over reaction etc......
Then my emotions turned to disbelief as the things I had read/ heard came Into being, I watched the government bully and lie their way to meet their aim to deny the majority of sick/disabled help.
I fought my own battle for recognition and the pittance they call 'life of luxury' and what a battle it was just to be recognised as having a medical condition that meant I was no longer able to work and be placed in the 'scroungers' group.
My emotions boomeranged in this period from fear to fury that I was being made to lay out in minute detail my life as it is now.
Anger boiled over many times when friends were put through the same wringer, some who won their case and others who should have but didn't.
I watched in cold rage as the lies and deceit rolled from the mouths of the politicians who were supposed to be serving our best interest and were repeated time and again by the puppy dog press and media.
I shouted at the social sites, the television and anyone that would listen to me.....'open your eyes' for gods sake someone step in to protect us, someone rise up and stop this evil government from continuing the destruction of the vulnerable.......but no one listened, apparently we were an unaffordable drain on resources.
My own MP had assured me the change over from DLA to PIP would not be conducted in the same way as ESA, he sat in my living room and told me I had nothing to fear.
I held my hands out to him, the psoriasis and the swelling from the arthritis obvious and pleaded with him to tell me if he believed I was 'fit for work' or skiving or a scrounger. Again he reassured me all would be different with PIP, I had nothing to fear from the changes.......
He lied, yes he lied to me, face to face in my own home he lied to me.
ATOS got the contract to carry out the assessments for PIP and the ESA debacle was about to be repeated.
We were to be targeted again and again, just incase the incurable were magically cured, just incase missing limbs regrew or we woke up one morning and found ourselves fit for work!
All of 2012 my anger knew no bounds, I fought on, fought hard for justice, stood with others fighting for the same thing and advertised every little unjust move this shower of a government made. I am sure this near obsession lost me followers on twitter etc as people wondered at my 'dog with a bone' attitude day after day as I tried, mostly in vain to open the eyes of those that refused to see and the ears of those who heard only the bile against us.
Carrying this amount of anger with you daily has a negative effect on your health and emotional well being and that was certainly true for me as there were more and more days where despair took over when I felt unheard, when nothing was changing for us, when the evil government pushed on with their lies and rhetoric and still the majority of the public seemed to believe every lie that dripped from their lips.
Several times I needed and took a step back, a break for the sake of my sanity, I refused to read the articles, blogs, reports, I could take no more at that time.
But I always returned to the fray......
Last night I became aware of the latest nasty trick about to be used against us, thanks to the work of a very brave lady Sue Marsh who posted this http://diaryofabenefitscrounger.blogspot.co.uk/2013/01/esasos.html
Have a read, do you believe what is being done?
Words fail me at this point........