Compromise

What a week that was!
Trips to hospital for light therapy x2
Father in law heart attack x1
Good friend operation for breast cancer x 1
Puppy spayed at vets x 1
Daughters/grandchildren visit x 3 no 4 hang on make that 5
Day at daughters x 1
Taking mum to town x 1

Days in the week? Not nearly enough!

You know how you get 'those' kind of weeks? Well I have just had one of 'those' months where there just are not enough days in the week to do all that needs doing, or enough hours in the day to be everywhere you are needed with everyone who needs you.
Even harder when you are me and unable to just 'up and go'
I have to rely on my long suffering husband to go to places, help family/friends and do the running around either with me or for me and believe me he is not always so easy to convince that he really should 'pick up that bed daughter wants'
Or 'go and jump start other daughters car'
Or go get the 'special offer' stamps from the post office for my mum

He never says an outright no, he just ignores me and hopes that by the hundredth time of me asking I might have got the message and give up, or he says yes and then does nothing so I sound like a fishwife with my continual nagging.
Marital bliss eh?
Bless him, he is so laid back life just seems to pass him by, I have always been the doer, the thinker and the reactor......
One thing I have learned recently is if the girls want something done that he needs to do such as a lift somewhere etc I now pass the phone to him and they ask him directly instead of going through me as he is very unlikely to say no to them and then I don't get wound up trying to get them an answer from him.

It got me thinking about how much we have both had to adapt to this new lifestyle with me being disabled and him being my carer, how much it has affected us both.
I still want the house to look the same as when I was caring for it but of course it doesn't.
I still expect to be able to help our daughters/grandkids/friends when they need it but its no longer my place to say ' yes of course I will do that' as it needs both myself and Trevor to fulfil any promises I may make.

I will tell you one thing I have learned and that is to be more accepting of myself and him, he isn't a duplicate of me, my priorities aren't necessarily the same as his.
He sees things differently to me and neither of us can claim our way is right or wrong, it is who we are and why should he change to suit me or indeed me to suit him?

Compromise.....something I don't think either of us were particularly good at but are having to learn now and we are learning it....slowly
Can't promise we won't still have 'words' at times ( well I have the words Trevor pretends his deaf) but I am surprised at how well we are adapting really, guess the partnership was strong enough to withstand the changes that have and are taking place.






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