The girls grew up with them and they were always a part of our family. I remember long walks with our golden retriever and cuddles and many laughs with our little dog Sally who lived to the ripe old age of 14.
Cats have had a spoilt existence in our home and my eldest daughter always slept with the one before the one we have now.
Bobcat is a ginger Tom who has come to rule the home in the 8 years he has been here and as much as we deny it he has things pretty much his own way, even down to the daily tin of tuna that started as a treat and that he now insists on.
I have missed not having a dog around the home, there is something very special about the unconditional love and loyalty they give and a sense of security.
We agreed when my disability became more limiting and we moved into a ground floor flat with no easy access for me to the communal garden we would not have another dog and for 9 years I have stuck to that agreement.
So what changed?
Well I don't think I ever really reconciled myself to the fact I would NEVER have another dog, I have my stubborn moments when I rile against the things this illness has deprived me of.
My circumstances and situation mean there are many things I want that I can no longer have, apart from the mobility side of things being a barrier to me walking a dog etc my useless hands are also a barrier to me being able to do other things but the biggest barrier of all was living on benefits as we are now having to do makes it financially impossible to have a dog.
Or does it?
Barrier number one doesn't have to be insurmountable as my husband is my carer and so is here the majority of the time, after some gentle (and not so gentle) coercion he has agreed to the puppy and so will be the one walking it and helping to do the things I am unable to do now.
Barrier number two was smashed to pieces when my daughters dog had puppies and I was promised one for my birthday, I might add here that this is how we came to have the cat 8 years ago, who could resist a kitten when presented with a bow and a 'happy birthday mum?'
So we now await the arrival of our new puppy, she is coming home on Monday and I have already named her Molly.
So why the question mark in the introduction you may ask?
Because as much as I feel the excitement building as Monday draws ever closer I also have apprehension,
Supposing I really can't handle a young pup at all?
Supposing my spoilt cat really really hates her?
Maybe having these doubts is normal and even a good thing, it shows that I know what I am taking on and am going in to this with my eyes open.
After two years of getting steadily worse and trying to come to terms with the feelings of uselessness and frustration this brings I am at a point where I need something to get up in the morning for, something to carry on for, something to brighten my very existence and Molly I think you may be it.
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