Sunday, 12 June 2011

To me twitter is....

Following on from my last post you decide what group(s) I am in.
To me Twitter is my pub/club, my meeting place with my friends, where I go when I need encouragement, a laugh, advice or simply a hug.
Thought I would make this blog about twitter more personal and explain why I use it and what I get from it.
To do that I will need to introduce you to me as a child without going into too much detail and thereby become boring. I was a painfully shy child, I would go as red as a beetroot if spoken to and stumble over the simplest words if forced to speak. Any kind of social gathering was absolute torture and something to be avoided at all costs. There weren't many social gatherings thankfully as my little family was very insular, my parents believed we just needed each other and so friends etc weren't really part of my childhood. I suppose now this shy unsocialised child would be frowned on and maybe even picked up as needing some form of help but back then I was seen as a well behaved quiet child who was occasionally seen and never heard. School, as you can imagine was a nightmare, I was one of those kids who sank as deep into the seat as possible so as to be unnoticeable, dreaded being called on by a teacher to answer a question or speak. Academically I was really very bright, what the other kids would call a swat, but socially I was a loser, an outsider that had none of the necessary skills to find inclusion. I have always stood on the outside of groups not having a clue how to get involved.
As I got older I learned how to avoid the social situations that would make me uncomfortable, terrible headaches on the night of the school disco, sickness on prize giving days etc, virtually anything that didn't allow me to just be an unnoticed part of the crowd was to be avoided.
At 15 I met my husband, he and his family were the polar opposite to me and mine, extrovert, party goers, loud and very friendly and although you would think I would run a mile I was drawn to this life that was so alien to me.
Obviously I adapted, I grew into a more sociable adult who had to learn to mix with others. I had my children and discovered that although I would still very rarely speak on my own behalf I was a dangerous very vocal lioness if my children needed defending.
I used my academic ability that had been largely over looked at school to help me gain a secure footing in employment and found my temperament was ideally suited to working in small groups or on a one to one basis. I still shunned most social gatherings using motherhood and anything else I could come up with not to have to attend. Put me with one or two people and I can talk for England but to this day add a few more people to the mix and you won't hear a peep from me. I have after all this time accepted that this is just me and I'm not ashamed to say I don't like parties or social gatherings where I feel out of my depth. I still avoid invitations etc to things/places where I would feel uncomfortable but that's ok because I can safely socialise and be part of a group or on a one to one on twitter. Twitter has become my school playground, my party, my school classroom, I have friends there, I am one of the group there, I don't feel like an outcast there and I'm certainly not that shy child there. This is what Twitter is to me, how about you?


UnmotheredChild said...

Aww it is a pity you fear that you will bore us if you talk more about your childhood in detail. I felt so sad when I read about you being a child back then :(

tinysuz said...

This sounds just so much like me in my childhood, the similarities are just astounding. I was an only child but married into a large social family and began to come out of my shell. Thank you for writing all this down and you could never be boring 

Anonymous said...

Well written Penny as always makes good reading and again some people can relate to the same feelings,so helps them feel they are not alone. I was just the opposite very extrovert, loud and a leader,took little shy ones like you under my wing,(think that scared a few) but as i have got older i have slowly turned into being a little bit of both, think it has to be the blame of the menapause affects ones confidence.
Keep blogging Penny, you are good makes one look at ones self eh?

onethoughtfulwoman said...

Thought provoking and a written piece many of us can relate too. I was to be seen and not heard and am amazed that I do actually enjoy social crowds, have spoken in teaching seesions to nearly 60 once, when I could not say boo to a goose in the class room.
We can change and adapt to some extent but the old script for us remains from childhood.
I have never thought about what twitter really means to me. Good question. Will give that one some thought.