I am in a flare up, I have had many flare ups in the past it is part and parcel of my medical condition but this one is probably the worst I have ever had.
Every thing hurts from the top of my head to the soles of my feet, every bit of skin is sore, some areas causing real concern. Every joint is painful, stiff, swollen and agony.
What causes these flare ups? Partly natural progression of the disease and most definitely encouraged on by stress.
And the outcome?
When it settles it will have caused more permanent damage to several joints and the psoriasis will be permanent in areas it hasn't stayed in before. It's part and parcel of the never ending game that is my life now.
Right, stop there.....I don't want pity, I don't need anyone's pity, I fight I adapt, I accept and I move on, that's me, it's who I am and this condition is just a part of who I am.
So why am I writing this miserable blog?
To enlighten, I am not ashamed of having this condition, I have no problem talking about it to you or anyone who asks and all I ask from you is understanding and that you treat me fairly.
The trials and tribulations in life seem to come in phases don't they?
I have been through many such phases in my life where one problem/change has piled on top of another until a spade hasn't been sufficient to dig my way out, I have needed a bull dozer!
This should tell you that I am not a quitter, I fight for my family, for my friends and for those in need where I can. Often I have started the fight alone only to find others have joined me along the way until we have become strong enough to be heard and even at times to change things.
And this brings me back to the here and now....
What is so different this time?
People are not listening, not understanding, not believing or just plain not caring.
Yes I apologies I am going on about social security again, or the lack of it as that particular safety net is deliberately and dangerously eroded before your eyes.
I see many of you shaking your heads "we are not talking about you or ignoring your plight, you are a genuine case, you won't be penalised/affected by our action or lack of action"
Ah but you see I have been and continue to be penalised and affected as do the many many genuine people caught up in this cruel system.
Let me tell you how I personally am affected
I live in fear of my benefits being stopped when/if ATOS /DWP find me fit for work at my next assessment or the one after that or the one after that.....
I am only getting a 1% rise on my benefits even though everything else has and is increasing in cost at a worrying rate.
From April I am going to have to pay 25% of my housing benefit as I am deemed to have two spare rooms even though we have been waiting for over a year to downsize Into a suitable place. You see I can no longer get into or out of this place due to steps outside and I haven't been able to access the communal garden for years.
But there are very few smaller places available especially the sort I need so we pay whilst we wait.
Even after moving I will still be charged for one extra room as we need a two bedroomed home as stated by councils OT due to my disabilities.
Doesn't matter says government, you are a married couple you only are entitled to one bedroom regardless of what your circumstances may be.
Now I could go on here and tell you what this 'bedroom tax' will mean to grandparents who won't be able to have their grandchildren to stay, or parents whose sons/daughters are serving in the forces who will still be expected to pay to keep their rooms for them. Or all the other disabled people who will be affected by this callous tax but you may not believe me or be interested in those faceless people you don't know so I am instead telling you of my personal situation.
I have told you before, I have written several blogs detailing these changes, have you not heard me? Did you think I would not suffer? Or do you look the other way and just pray you don't get picked on or noticed?
Are you not sick? Disabled? Unemployed? Low earner? Do you not have to rely on any benefits?
Well that's great and I hope you continue in good health and well paid employment and never have reason to need assistance because if you do it is likely it will no longer be there.
I will continue to write, talk, shout about all of this and point out as I have above the impact it is having on my health until not one person can turn around in the future and say they didnt know.
So read about me, think about me but please do not ever pity me.......help me, help me to get the message out there, help me to get things changed and allow me to handle my condition without having to handle all this added stress as well.
Please if you haven't already done so sign wowpetition.com