Saturday, 25 June 2011


I wanted to give a little background to the poem you will find here on today's blog.
It's about bullying and the effects of being bullied, not just on the victim but on the whole family. I am saddened to see it is still very prevalent in today's society and have watched with disgust as it has reached it's damaging tentacles into many areas of people's lives. Even twitter is not beyond it's reach, something that should be a social, light hearted, happy place for people to spend some time has succumbed to the bullies, and this is unacceptable. But then all bullying is unacceptable be it at school, in the workplace or at home, on the street or on line, it's wrong and very damaging for those involved.
I have 3 daughters, the first 2 progressed through school without too much trouble, there was only 2 years between them and so attended school together for much of the time, although one was very quiet and could I suppose have been bullied, her sister was the opposite, loud, proud and very popular in school and often to be found sticking up for her sister when the need arose. Both girls had their own sets of friends and so were on the whole accepted.
My third daughter however was 7 years younger than the second daughter and so had to do many things without the help or protection of having a sibling with her.
She was also a quiet child, very well behaved and polite which made her a favourite with her teachers but not so endearing to her peers. Unfortunately she is also the only one of mine to inherit my skin condition ( psoriasis) and although it was relatively mild stress would bring it out and this also made her ' different and unacceptable' to her peers. The bullying started in junior school and continued on into senior school, I won't bore you with the years of 'talking to teachers' trying to protect and support her or the brick Walls we hit every time we tried to sort it out. Sufficient to say that I watched my daughter become more and more withdrawn, sad and scared over those years until at age 13 after a broken wrist she asked me one night " if I died would I come back as someone else? I don't want to be me anymore" I decided enough was more than enough and we withdrew her from school. I home educated her until she was 15 and then we fought ( and won) to get her into college a year early. Once the pressure of having to face the bullies daily was removed she blossomed and has gone on to be a well adjusted, loving happy adult with a good career. I wrote the following poem just before I took her out of school......

To be made to feel so small
downtrodden, worth nothing at all.
To be scared to live your way
abused by what other kids say.
To be mocked, aped and jeered
and when hurting to hear them cheer,
To be afraid to walk home alone
to have to reap the destruction they've sown.
If only they would like you for you
appreciate the good things you do,
Leave you to live life your way
join you at work and at play.
Nobody needs to be best
we can all get along with the rest,
Damaged children causing more damage
society can no longer manage,
to hide the failings of man,
We should all get along if we can.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad


tinysuz said...

Oh Penny, this latest blog has brought tears to my ears, I was bullied so badly throughout my young school life that I really wanted to commit suicide as i felt it was the only escape from the misery I was in. Much too frightened to tell either my parents or the teachers all I could do was endure. Fortunately a better escape plan emerged when I went to a different secondary school to that of the bullies and my life changed around.
Bullying is just awful in any shape or form, why do people feel the need to do it? Anything different about a person is picked on, took me a long time into adulthood before I realised that bullies are the worst form of cowards.
Thank again for posting that x

onethoughtfulwoman said...

A tale I can resonate with completely and totally written in a real way. You can tell it is real and felt because it captures the plight so well, so vivid and so true. I have already left several comments to the author directly, (who ever may be reading this,) as it is a subject too close and too uncomforatble to not contribute to this debate.
Very moving and the poem at the end sums it all up so well. I hope people will not only listen but act upon their conscience that bullying is not to be tolerated ever.

Queen of Optimism said...

Penny - I love this post and I love what you did for your daughter. You did what was best for her without a second thought. I'm in awe...I see some many parents who feel it's their job to sit by and watch the damage happen instead of looking for an alternate way to get through difficult times. Have you talked with your daughter about this now that she is older? I'm so curious about her perspective.

So glad to be reading your blog.xxxooo @hyperchondria